The Wounds of Wellness: Power, Bypassing, and Belonging (Copy)

Wellness spaces often begin with good intentions. They offer practices, guidance, and a sense of community to those seeking support. Many people arrive in these spaces during times of transition or uncertainty, hoping to find tools for healing or clarity. But just like any other human gathering, wellness communities are not immune to harm, and sometimes, the very qualities that draw people in such as openness, trust, vulnerability, can also create conditions for damage to occur.

It is common for people entering wellness spaces to be in a sensitive place. They may be grieving, unwell, disoriented, or simply looking for meaning. This means that power dynamics need to be handled with care. When someone is perceived as a teacher or guide, the responsibility that comes with that role is significant. Without clear boundaries and accountability, it is easy for influence to become control, even if the intention is good.

Another common issue is the push for positivity. In many wellness settings, there can be an unspoken pressure to always appear “high vibe,” calm, or grateful. Struggling may be quietly discouraged. Anger, grief, and confusion are seen as things to fix or move through quickly, rather than emotions to work with and express. This is what is often called spiritual bypassing: using spiritual ideas or practices to avoid facing more difficult parts of reality.

Over time, this kind of culture can create subtle but painful consequences. People may begin to doubt their own feelings or wonder if they are not “evolved enough” because they are still hurting. Communities may become places where only certain types of expression are welcomed, where silence is rewarded and discomfort is avoided. It becomes harder to speak up, harder to ask questions, harder to simply be.

There is also the question of belonging. Many people are drawn to wellness spaces not just for healing or insight, but because they long to feel part of something. They come seeking community, connection, and the experience of being seen and accepted. The language of many of these spaces, with words like unity, wholeness, and shared vibration, can be deeply appealing for those who have felt isolated or unseen elsewhere.

But the reality is often more complicated. Belonging can become conditional. Those who do not align with the dominant energy, aesthetic, or unspoken rules may feel quietly excluded. Difference, whether in background, values, identity, or emotional expression, can become something that distances rather than deepens connection. People may feel they need to soften their edges, hide their truths, or perform a version of peace in order to stay included.

As Brené Brown reminds us, “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.” This highlights the courage it takes to show up fully in community, especially when it asks us to conform.

This does not mean that wellness spaces are inherently flawed, but it does mean we need to stay awake within them. We need to be honest about the ways power can show up, and remain open to hearing when harm has occurred. True healing environments are not perfect, but they are places where questions are allowed, where people can disagree, and where the full range of human experience is welcomed.

If you ever find yourself in a space that does not feel right, trust that. Whether it is subtle pressure, a dynamic that feels off, or a sense that you are being asked to shrink yourself to belong. Those signals matter.